Flare day

Pain. Like, woke me up. My skin hurts. Pressure hurts. Like the pressure of my pants around my legs. The hair on my legs hurts. My tongue fucking hurts. My bladder hurts. My freaking organs hurt. What the hell.

My arms and hands hurt. I need my hands to paint. Holy crap. I'm terrified that my body won't let me keep painting.

I got pt today. It hurt. But I'm walking better.

Fantastic.

Soooo my rheumatologist basically said that she's giving me the max meds, and unless I want to go down the opiate path, I'm going to have to just grit my teeth and deal.

So then do I just grit my teeth and deal, or find another rheumatologist, or...what?

Aside from my meds, heat helps. Hot water helps. Kratom helps too.

The idea of maybe another 40 years of this pain is intense. How do people do this? I guess how I've been doing it. One day at a time.